ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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