please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
