Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
