I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think my fart just growled at me.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
