well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.