...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.