after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.