Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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