Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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