TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
