just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
