I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm always down for nudity.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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