Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
