Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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