I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
