Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
