I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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