I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
