I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I want to be your penis for a week.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize