His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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