I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
