Sry I called you an 8
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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