Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
