She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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