I bet he comes in French.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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