We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize