id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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