Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
