I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
