Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
