goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we should paint friendship bongs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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