we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
