you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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