But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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