well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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