The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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