I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My bed smells like the plague
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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