I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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