Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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