like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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