this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
