the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
