he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
