I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
