Christians are straight up FREAKS
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
