Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize