dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
