She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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