Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
