Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
should my penis look like a turkey
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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