How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
