I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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