The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I deserve this hangover.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
