I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
