Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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