Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
