the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
