Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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