Nicole vs. Life
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
