i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
