This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
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Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.