Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
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Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week