i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
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Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
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All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I would not recommend douching while drunk.