I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
