I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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