that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
